"Masked"I was lost in the labyrinth of my mind, as the oblivion blinds me. I never thought that my inside would be this hollow and empty. Every step I took will lead me to the same endless route that I am forced to take. But somehow, I feel like this emptiness that I felt is much more comforting than the world outside, where I feel like I’m living surrounded by ghost with no destinations. I feel like each path has each different mask that I wear in front of different people. One is the bright side of me that most people think it defines me. Where most people envies the way I live that they said is like a dream. Sure, this mask of mine is what I always wear everyday, like wearing a raincoat on a rainy day in order to protect our clothes. On the other path, there’s my other mask, the water. Where I’m calm, collected yet unpredictable. On this mask is a cat, cute and collected yet very sly. They said that in this mask I’m a very wise person. But how could I be wise when I can’t even solve my own problems? On the last path is my third mask, the most bitter, wicked, low tempered side of me. This is my most hated mask of mine. This mask is a monster that everybody feared and hated. Even the closest to me thinks I should be caged and not allowed to see my prey. For the first time, I feel that each of these masks became a burden in my back. Well, after all, we are all fighting a war that people knew nothing about. But the real question right now is which way should I take? I did not wish to stay like this forever. I want to walk on only one path for the rest of my life. But even now, I don’t have the strength to choose. Then I question myself. How would the path I choose define me? Will it be one of those masks? Or it will be something else. The thought of something else shuts my will at an instant. How will I proceed after me? How will the society sees me? I am a water that is easily corrupted by their thoughts. Then again, who am I really? I’m a monster, a mutant, different from them. I always felt like I’m living surrounded by ghosts with no destination, still finding their purpose of life even after death. I guess they’re no different from me after all. We do have one thing in common; we’re lost in ourselves. I feel like this darkness is almost in the pit of consuming me. However the thought of you showed up. You know, I always dreamed of changing this fate, changing the future. And then I heard your cries within the noise. At first, I laughed at it but it only exposes my weakness. After realizing how lost you are, I wished to help you, saving you from my fate. I’m too scared too approach you, scared of how far the distance between our hearts. But if we understand any misunderstood, we can start forward. I wanted to hold your tears and pain, ignoring mine. But if I keep running for it further and further, wouldn’t I be restless? I don’t have the strength to hold mine, how do I know I have the strength to hold yours as well? Even so, your pain gave me the strength to change the future. I could fly very high just by seeing you. The thought of you opens me another path, another path that leads me to myself. No more mask, no more hiding, just me. I don’t even have to collect the courage for me anymore, as it was already here in my heart. Be patient, my friend, this path that I take will save us. Analysis of story:The story is about someone who has a BPD and is being dishonest with her true self. This dishonesty is burdening her and society treats her differently because of that. But then she realizes that everyone is no different from her, as they are also lost with their self and have doubts on which path to take. Then she met someone who is just like her. Seeing him, she wanted to change her way so that she could help him, because she don’t want him to be like how she used to be.
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AuthorName: Astrida Nayla ArchivesCategories |